"Sometimes a Dream Is What Makes You a Slave"
Manic days. Total ecstasy one moment, then a glaze will set in. It won't last long. It never lasts long. Just long enough to remind me to keep on my toes, to pay attention, to take naps and drink more water.
I went to Elizabeth's Big Lesbian Birthday Breakfast. We talked about menstruation and families and conservatism. Then Elizabeth led us in a meditation. Somewhere in the middle of the ritual, she asked us to meditate on the following statements (paraphrased): "I wish to be safe. I wish to be peaceful. I wish to be happy." I found this easy. Then she asked us to think of a person in our lives, and wish those things for them. I thought of a person immediately, but somehow could not bring myself to wish them safety, peace and happiness. I tried. I wanted to. But the image of them in my brain somehow deflected the wish, like they were covered in some kind of force field. So I picked a new person, and wished Dibs safety, peace and happiness. That was much easier.
Elizabeth's next instruction was to imagine someone to whom we would have difficulty sending good wishes, and focus our mediation on them. I was startled, that she would ask us to do what I had just then attempted. But I tried again. It was hard.
It made me wonder how loving I really am, what my intentions towards other human beings really are, what my generosity consists of, and how my sense of kindness translates in the world around me.
I am still wondering.
Also, I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot stop listening to "Sometimes a Dream" from Liz Phair's Girlysound Demos. Join me in my obsession HERE.
Love
Dan
I went to Elizabeth's Big Lesbian Birthday Breakfast. We talked about menstruation and families and conservatism. Then Elizabeth led us in a meditation. Somewhere in the middle of the ritual, she asked us to meditate on the following statements (paraphrased): "I wish to be safe. I wish to be peaceful. I wish to be happy." I found this easy. Then she asked us to think of a person in our lives, and wish those things for them. I thought of a person immediately, but somehow could not bring myself to wish them safety, peace and happiness. I tried. I wanted to. But the image of them in my brain somehow deflected the wish, like they were covered in some kind of force field. So I picked a new person, and wished Dibs safety, peace and happiness. That was much easier.
Elizabeth's next instruction was to imagine someone to whom we would have difficulty sending good wishes, and focus our mediation on them. I was startled, that she would ask us to do what I had just then attempted. But I tried again. It was hard.
It made me wonder how loving I really am, what my intentions towards other human beings really are, what my generosity consists of, and how my sense of kindness translates in the world around me.
I am still wondering.
Also, I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot stop listening to "Sometimes a Dream" from Liz Phair's Girlysound Demos. Join me in my obsession HERE.
Love
Dan
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Remarkable, those Liz Phair demos, Dan!