I'm still away."'Look,' they were saying, "we are slow to waken to the notion that we are only as other women and men, and even slower to move in anger, but we are gathering ourselves to fight for and protect what your son fought for on behalf of us. If you will let us weave your story and your son's life and death into what we already know - into the songs, the sermons, the 'brother and sister' - we will soon be so angry we cannot help but move. Understand this."
-Meridian by Alice Walker
It was really overwhelming. We only had like 3 second of tech time, so it was like doing an open dress rehearsal for 100 people, seven reviewers and my parents. I was so nervous and preoccupied. Then I remembered: my CHARACTER is nervous and preoccupied too. So it was all to my advantage. When all was said and done, there were so many friends in the crowd, and so much love in the air.
Hilariously, I was stricken, the very next morning, with a new bout of Chronic Fatigue. It's hilarious because my character is sick in bed all the time, too. I wrote the part before I was diagnosed with CFS, and before it really started effecting my life. So it's pretty ridiculous, spending this week sick in bed, between performances where I play someone who is sick in bed.
There is so much cool stuff happening in the city, and I want so badly to be out there, experiencing it. Getting sweet reviews are actually really helpful. In Joseph's "Human Jukebox" he says that he Googles himself "to see if he's been up to something." I'm letting myself read the reviews for a similar reason. I want to be reminded that I am a real person, doing things in the world, and not just a sick boy in his pajamas.
Regardless, I am confident I'll recover in time for Friday's performance. I love doing this show, saying these things to people. As gross as it gets, lying around without the energy to fetch a glass of water, I am still so lucky.
Love
Dan

Only three more days till opening night!!!
Love
Dan
2. If it's not one thing it's another. I finally got over my pneumonia and my bout of Chronic Fatigue, only to get a sore throat. By the time my sore throat was over, my antibiotic had damaged my muscle tissue and stiffened my neck. Now I'm down to JUST a stiff neck. When this is over, I am out of the woods. OUT OF THE WOODS! Just in time for OPENING NIGHT.
3. I've become an official blogger at Jewcy.com! You can read my first post, about rehearsing for my play at the Workmen's Circle office building, here: "Chanukah, Lube and Socialism."
4. I sat down for a lovely chat with Beth Greenfield from Time Out New York! She posted a bit of our conversation on the Time Out blog:
We were psyched last night to be invited to a rehearsal of You Will Experience Silence—the latest super-smart and funny creation of antifolk hero Dan Fishback, known for his bands Cheese on Bread and the Faggots, and for performance pieces No Direction Homo and Waiting for Barbara (Bush, not Streisand). You Will Experience Silence, which opens April 10 at Dixon Place, juxtaposes the story of two queeny teens living in ancient Jerusalem with that of a modern-day neurotic Jewish activist. When Fishback is not busy being an artist, he’s visiting college campuses, delivering his lecture “You Never Get to Make Out: Why I Can’t Tell the Difference Between Being Jewish and Being Queer.” We caught up with him after his rehearsal to ask him why. Here’s what he said:5. I'm getting prepared for the big FUNDRAISER on Saturday! We've just confirmed how much gin our lovely gin sponsor will be donating. Suffice it to say: IT'S A LOT. Help us drink it!
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE ROCK
Saturday, April 4 at Brooklyn Tea Party
The Lisps, Urban Barnyard, Lach and The Best
8:00pm, $10-$20 suggested donation!
http://www.myspace.com/
Love
Dan
My new play, "You Will Experience Silence," opens in just a few weeks, so I'm about to start a whirlwind promotional tour to skeer up some buzz! Right now we've got some radio and variety gigs scheduled, with some more tidbits in the works. I'll keep you posted! In the meantime, mark your calendars for some insane parties and fancy airwave shenanigans.
Love
Dan
www.youwillexperiencesilence.
******************************
PROMO TOUR CALENDAR:
1. THE JOEY REYNOLDS SHOW
March 27 (late nite) / March 28 (early morning) on WOR News/Talk Radio 710HD
My co-star Max Steele and I will be dropping by The Joey Reynolds show at around 2am on March 28 (late night on March 27) to talk smack with some radio showbiz types! (http://www.wor710.com/)
2. GAYETY
March 28 at Re/Dress (109 Boerum Place, Brooklyn)
Re/Dress is the raddest plus-sized ladies' boutique in the whole universe, and Gayety is their new queer comedy night! I'll be performing along with Kelli Dunham, Loren Krywanczyk and Bevin Brandlandingham! Join me in the dazzling world of fat queer femme hilarity. Starts at 9:30pm for $7! (http://www.redressnyc.com/)
3. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE ROCK
April 4 at Brooklyn Tea Party (email for address)
The Lisps, Urban Barnyard, Lach and The Best all team up for this raucous benefit! Proceeds go directly to my play. If the great music isn't enough for you, we've got an open gin bar, courtesy of the fabulous folks at Bulldog Gin! Starts at 8:00pm for a $10-$20 suggested donation! (http://www.myspace.com/
4. PUSSY FAGGOT
April 6 at The Delancey (168 Delancey St, NYC)
This party to end all parties celebrates the birthday of downtown empressario Earl Dax and benefits Dixon Place's upcoming HOT Festival. I'll be performing alongside Justin Bond, Joseph Keckler, Scott Matthew, Kenny Mellman, Adira Amram, Nick Hallett, Clint Asay, and the list goes on and on and on and on. Doors open at 8pm and stay open all night, for $18 in advance and $25 at the door! (http://www.thedelancey.com/)
5. THE BONNIE GRICE SHOW
April 9 on WLIU (88.3 FM)
I'll be talking about "You Will Experience Silence" on WLIU's morning arts & culture program at around 8:30am, for all you early-risers! (http://www.wliu.org/)
(This message was brought to you by Bulldog Gin.)

Love
Dan
Love
Dan
Me: Mom, I don't eat dairy.
Mom: Well maybe you should adjust your eating habits in light of being sick.
Me: I don't think butter is going to cure my PNEUMONIA.
At least, now that my fatigue has dissipated, my mind has returned, and so I can finally start piecing back together all the organizational projects that halted in mid-February. Between naps and coughing fits.

Being sick puts you in the strangest frame of mind. You get creative, but it's not a good kind of creative. It always feels vaguely evil, vaguely un-artistic. It feels like madness. I think I'm watching so much internet TV so I won't start entertaining myself. And I'm really good at entertaining myself. Probably too good. I think, ultimately, I'm afraid that if I start, I'll never stop. And then I'll be that annoying guy at the bar who's always talking to everyone but never saying anything.
Love
Dan
Love
Dan
I wanna be where the people are.
Love
Dan
In the words of Justin Bond, "pragmatism is the new punk."
So much to do!
Love
Dan
Staring from the window seat. On the Bolt Bus. February 13th.
Last night, Matt Katz' van with Max Steele & Justin Bond, full of diner food, cupcakes, champagne, vapors.
Skyline. "The Hissing of Summer Lawns." Glenn's Birthday party in a thrift store for plus-sized ladies.
JCC opening for Avishai's new show,
after two years of work.
He was so confident and charismatic in front of the crowd.
Remember first Six Points retreat, when he was so uncomfortable talking in front of people.
Matt's van takes us from glory to glory to glory.
Going now to help Grandma move into Ring House,
I hope I can live in a place like that when I'm 90.
I wonder how old she really feels.
I feel mostly 21,
will always be just arriving in New York.
Re-reading The Hours for the billionth time,
appropriately. Thinking about Lach going on and on at the anti-hoot
about how time doesn't exist. And I'm, obviously,
right there listening to him. On the bus. In the van.
Reading The Hours for the first time, on lunch breaks at my first job,
after I graduated high school, at Crown Books in Gaithersburg,
dating Steven when he still looked like a 15-year-old David Hyde Pierce.
Reading it again in college, for class,
in my mausoleum of a dorm room, on the 13th floor,
overlooking the Philadelphia skyline and the construction of the new Wharton building,
the Death Star,
and meeting Cunningham and hugging him awkwardly after making him cry,
and wishing he wasn't so hot,
wishing he wasn't so together,
so regal and elegant and powerful,
wishing he was a mess,
a mess like me so we could grab each other by the hair and say
"look at you, you're a mess, let's eat a sandwich."
riding to maryland, leaving behind a city where i am preparing to open a play,
seven years later. brother turning 30, mother turning 60, grandmother turning 90.
wishing i could step inside this love, like patrick swayze steps inside of whoopi goldberg in ghost,
walking up to demi moore, crying, and say
"look at you, you're a mess, let's eat a sandwich."
i'm gonna take a nap.
'The world subjects every enterprise to an alternative; that of success or failure, of victory or defeat. I protest by another logic: I am simultaneously and contradictorily happy and wretched; "to succeed" or "to fail" have for me only contingent, provisional meanings (which doesn't keep my sufferings and my desires from being violent); what inspires me, secretly and stubbornly, is not a tactic; I accept and affirm, beyond truth and falsehood, beyond success and failure; I have withdrawn from all finality, I live according to chance... Flouted in my enterprise (as it happens), I emerge from it neither victor nor vanquished: I am tragic. (Someone tells me: this kind of love is not viable. But how can you evaluate viability? Why is the viable a Good Thing? Why is it better to last than to burn?)' - pg 22-23Thinking about mildew on caulk. Beautiful, clean, pristine tiles. But then: brown lines, practically bubbling with the wrong kind of life. Thinking about scratching it off. With my finger nails. Getting it under my skin. Getting it off.
Thinking about my life and its distractions -- how the distractions become the life. Having to remind myself, daily, of what I'm actually doing, what I'm actually accomplishing, what I'm actually creating. Trying to look ahead. Thinking about neck braces. Wrist braces. Thinking about all kinds of braces and clamps and mnemonic devices. Signs: STOP, YIELD, THIS WAY, DETOUR, CHILDREN. Reminders.
Stopped by the office today. Sat on the couch. Max reminded me that love is a good thing. Oh, right.
Lately, I can see love itself, undulating in the air like a blob in a lava lamp. Come back here. Protrude this way. Grow, please.
Love (I mean it.)
Dan
I think I'm going to ride buses across the country this summer.
Love
Dan
I've just been added to the phenomenal bill of tonight's Tingle Tangle Club! I was grouchy about the Inauguration, but after Aretha, I'm feeling celebratory again. I'm pasting the press release below. Do come!
Love
Dan
TINGEL TANGEL CLUB
in celebration of the opening of artist Ofri Cnaani's
new exhibit at (Le) Poisson Rouge
Wednesday, January 21
7:00 pm (doors) / 8:00 pm (performance begin)
Dance 'til 2:00 am!
(Le) Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker Street
Tickets $15 (Save $7 when you advance purchase with code DAX)
www.lepoissonrouge.com
The
evening begins as a lounge party with the impeccable musical stylings
of DJ MondoLucien (Windows on the World) and builds to a crescendo as a
late night dance party presided over by the legendary DJ Johnny Dynell
(Jackie 60, Boy Bar, Vandam). The evening is punctuated by an
astonishingly broad spectrum of performers... everyone from "Angel of
the Subway" Rosateresa CastroVargas to The Box regular Narcissister and
the legendary Flotilla DeBarge. Revelers will also be treated to the
sturm und drang of Novice Theory (recently named Ars Nova's 2009
Composer in Residence), cabaret performers Kim Smith and Micaela Leon,
soulful diva Amy Douglas (Squeezebox, Koko Dozo), French
neo-disco/cabaret performer Naommon and Portland-based
singer/songwriter Holcombe Waller (on the heels of his "Into the Dark
Unknown" at The Public Theater's Under the Radar Festival). On the
occasion of Obama's first day in office Earl Dax and Jo Lampert perform
a downtown inaugural duet, and a very special Carngie Hall-worthy
performer makes a special guest appearance! It's a contemporary cabaret
flowering that reaffirms the nightclub as a point of intersection for
people from different walks life and artists from a variety of
backgrounds and disciplines. Guests who dress in theme (think Leigh
Bowery meets Marlene Dietrich) will receive a complimentary drink from
the bar.
About Tingel Tangel Club:
Tingel Tangel
Club debuted in October 2007 at Glasslands, a DIY music venue and
warehouse space in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, and served as
a workshop/salon environment for Dax's popular "Weimar New York" shows.
In March 2008, the event leapfrogged to San Francisco (in conjunction
with The Jackie Factory) where it continues as a monthly at Cafe du
Nord every last Wednesday of the month. In addition to ongoing
presentations at Glasslands, Tingel Tangel Club was presented in New
York at Deitch Studios in June 2008 in conjunction with an exhibition
by Assume Vivid Astro Focus. The roster of performers to grace Tingel
Tangel Club's various stages includes: Mike Albo, Penny Arcade, Joey
Arias, Justin Bond, Connie Champagne, Adam Dugas, Leigh "Elvis
Herselvis" Crow, Bridget Everett, Rebecca Joy Fletcher, Taylor Mac, Ana
Matronic, Kenny Mellman, Moby, Julie Atlas Muz, Brandon Olson, Molly
Pope, Kate Rigg, Lady Rizo, Basil Twist and Chi Chi Valenti.


